Lesson Plan
Topic: Parenting with your Partner
Instructor: Helen Greenbergs
Age Range: parents of toddler and two-year-olds (could be used for parents of younger and older children as well)
Time: 30-45 minutes
I. Anticipatory Set
Whip around – “What is the best thing and the most challenging thing right now in your experience parenting with your partner?”
II. Instruction
On average, marital/relationship satisfaction tends to decline to its lowest point during the years when people are raising young children.
Many reasons for this decline:
Change in focus from eachother to our children
Stress on resources – money, time, energy, emotion
Raising of issues from each parent’s own experience growing up in their own
family (family of origin)
Work to cope with this risk:
- regularly go out on date nights and ALWAYS set aside some of that time to check in with eachother about parenting issues/concerns with each child
- talk about disagreements in moments which are not highly emotional
- try to focus on overall goals – if your goals are similar to your partner (but your strategies are different), you have some common ground from which to work
- don’t try to make your partner parent exactly like you – it is not possible or preferable
- seek therapy if you have ongoing issues which you are struggling to resolve – don’t wait until one of you is “done” because then therapy has a low chance of success
Use the attached handout to explore some of the issues with which you struggle and possible sources of that difference.
III. Guided Practice
Discuss handout and strategies to improve co-parenting skills
IV. Closure
One of the very best gifts we can give our children is the example of a loving, mature, communicative relationship with our spouse. Working on this relationship, which outlasts our parenting role, is work very worth doing.
V. Independent Practice
Students are encouraged to discuss the handout with their partner.
Parenting with Your Partner
Couples agree and disagree about various aspects of parenting including:
Methods of discipline Nutrition for their children
Healthcare for their children How to celebrate holidays
Religious activities with their children Keeping their children safe
Bed time routines Employment decisions
Money spent on children (clothes, activities, books, toys)
Dealing with children’s emotions/emotional development
“Educational activities” and goals for their children
Amount of time spent together as a family
Amount of time spent with extended family
Amount of time spent together as a couple without the children
Amount of time for each parent to “do their own thing”
ETC. (feel free to add to this list)
About what aspects of parenting do you and your partner consistently agree?
About what aspects of parenting do you and your partner disagree?
What do you think the difference stems from?
Differences in family of origin experience (the way you were raised)
Differences in your goals or values as parents
Personality or temperament differences between you and your partner
Lack of communication about that aspect of parenting
Strong feelings about that aspect of parenting
Some other reason/don’t know
What strategy do you think you could use to “get on the same page”?
Give in to their way
Have an honest, open, two-way conversation and reach a compromise
Explore parenting resources to find what “experts” suggest
Write your partner a letter expressing your concern and wish to work as a team
Seek couples therapy
Some other strategy
.