Notes on Attachment and Separation

Lesson Plan

 

Topic:  Attachment and Separation

 

Instructor:  Helen Greenbergs

 

Age Range:  parents of infants, toddlers and two-year-olds (could be used for parents of older

            children as well)

 

Time:  30-45 minutes

 

I.  Anticipatory Set

            A.  whip around – “How old is your baby?  How can you see that he/she is becoming attached specifically to you?” (prompt re: crying with separation, seeking attention, being comforted by you, etc.)

 

II.  Instruction

  1. Attachment theory – John Bowlby late 1950’s introduced theory –
    1. Children from birth and especially to age 2 or 3 – seek to develop a strong emotional bond with their primary caregiver
    2. If they experience “sensitive responsiveness” in that primary relationship, they will develop a secure attachment
    3. If they don’t experience “sensitive responsiveness” – if the primary caregiver is inconsistent or distant or absent or separated – the child will develop anxious attachment
    4. Attachment to the primary caregiver will directly impact future relationships – whether one trusts and/or can bond with others
  2.  Mary Ainsworth developed a strategy to assess attachment in 12-18 month-olds
    1. Strange Situation – stressful situation to encourage comfort seeking
      1. Securely attached – will use mom as secure base, will explore environment, will be somewhat distressed when mom leaves, will seek closeness with her and be comforted when she returns
      2. Anxiously attached – may cling and not explore, may be extremely distressed or not distressed at all when mom leaves, may be inconsolable/angry/avoidant when mom returns

c.  other assessment strategies have been developed for older children and adults

  1.  Recent report by the US Dept of Health and Human Services (1991)
    1. Gathered experts on attachment theory and research
    2. Confirmed that outcome studies show problems with anxiously attached children and adults – especially related to aggression, noncompliance, problems in relationships (seeking them indiscriminately and superficially OR avoiding them altogether)
    3. About 2/3 of children seem to be securely attached
      1. Children experiencing early separation (through divorce, death, mental illness of parent, substance abuse by parent, etc.) are at great risk of being anxiously attached
      2. Children in full time childcare especially at age 0 to 3 are at greater risk of being anxiously attached
    4. more research is needed about dads, other caregivers, the effect of siblings, adopted children
  2. How does this affect our parenting?
    1. The critical importance of “sensitive responsiveness” with our infants, toddlers and two’s
      1. Does NOT mean never set limits (that is a NEED)
      2. It DOES mean that we recognize and respond to our children’s needs quickly, that we acknowledge and are sensitive to their efforts to communicate their needs – for attention, for rest, for playtime, for cuddling, for nourishment, etc.
        1. argues against “crying it out”, expecting babies to put themselves back to sleep by themselves, etc – which are popular strategies in some circles – thoughts??
  3. Encouraging healthy separation
    1. When learning to separate
      1. Leave them with excellent caregiver
      2. Leave at their best time of day
      3. Say a quick goodbye
      4. Leave activities/toys/snacks they enjoy
      5. Gradually increase time
      6. Greet and attend to them when you return

 

III.  Guided Practice

            Since we can’t be “sensitively responsive” to needs until we can interpret their needs, we need to tune into their signals first.  Share one way you have noticed your baby indicating the need for: attention; comfort; rest.

           

IV.  Closure

            The good news - and the bad news - is that what we do in our daily relationship with our baby, influences every other relationship they will have for the rest of their lives.  We don’t have to be perfect, but we can work to get better all the time.

 

V.  Independent Practice

            Students are encouraged to attend closely to the way their baby signals various needs and share in a future class.